And the rain came

Melody always seems to suprise me. I don't know why. Nothing from her should suprise me anymore. She has always been very strong, smart, compassionate and a bit "bipolar". At 4 years old now she says and does the most profound things.

Last night I got ill. I was laying in bed unable to move too much when she came bounding in with a look of concern etched on her face. She climbed into my bed and put her head on my chest and said "Mom, please don't go to the hospital. I don't like it when you go there." I had not said anything to her about how ill I was or what I was trying to do to get my strength up. I assured her I wouldn't go and that I was fine. I then proceeded to tickle her to try to make her feel better. She gave me a huge hug and as she left the room she turned back and asked "Promise?" I told her that I didn't want to go to the hospital and she was ok with that. After she left the room I cried. I cried remembering how grown up this little girl was just over a year and a half ago when I was extremely ill and hospitalized after my 2nd abdominal surgery in 6 weeks. She came bravely into my room with her daddy and helped take care of me. She allowed the nurses to help her take my vitals and give me my shots that night. The dear nurses then helped her climb around my tubes into my bed, wrapped her up in blankets, and brought her in a popsicle. She was quite upset with those nurses that they wouldn't bring her mom in one too. I think I healed so much that night under her care and watchful eye.

I cried again as I climbed into my friend's car aware of the fact I had told her I did not want to go to the hospital and was not going to go and now was breaking a promise to my little one by heading to the hospital. I did make sure I was home before she woke up, had the hospital bracelet cut off and the bandages off before I climbed in bed and fell asleep and I had made sure she was asleep before I left for the hospital. What will I do if there is a next time? I don't know how to make it easier on her. Any thoughts anyone?